The Hidden Strength in Tears: Embracing Emotional Healing

For many women, tears are often seen as a sign of vulnerability, something that needs to be wiped away or hidden. We’ve been conditioned to view tears through a utilitarian lens: they are merely the physical expression of sadness, frustration, or disappointment. They are the emotional equivalent of a necessary release, but once they’ve done their job, we are expected to dry them up and move on. One common myth is that strong people don’t cry, which leads many to suppress their tears in an attempt to appear invulnerable. But what if tears aren’t just a release mechanism? What if they could be your allies in emotional healing, helping you navigate the complexities of life with greater ease?

Tears: More Than Just an Emotional Overflow

Tears are an extraordinary tool our bodies give us to process and cope with our emotions. When we cry, our bodies aren’t simply expelling excess moisture; they’re tapping into a deep physiological response designed to protect and restore balance. The act of crying is often connected with the body’s way of saying, “I need support.” In this way, tears offer an emotional reset, giving us space to heal from overwhelming experiences and reconnect with ourselves.

The Science of Tears: Why Crying Helps

There’s an abundance of science that sheds light on why tears are beneficial. Did you know that tears contain stress hormones? When you cry, your body expels these chemicals, essentially helping you to “flush out” the emotional weight you’ve been carrying. This process helps lower cortisol, the hormone responsible for stress, and releases endorphins, your body’s natural painkillers. Essentially, tears act as an emotional detox, helping to restore your balance, focus, and resilience.

Crying can also activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps calm the body after intense stress. This is why, after a good cry, many people feel a sense of relief or emotional clarity. You might feel physically drained afterward, but emotionally, there’s often a sense of renewal, like you’ve just cleared away the fog. Isn’t the body amazing!?! 

Tears as Emotional Intelligence

Our culture often teaches women to suppress their emotions, to be stoic and strong, to carry the weight of the world on their shoulders without showing weakness. There’s also a myth that if you start crying, you won’t stop, which causes people to fear that showing vulnerability will lead to uncontrollable emotion. But crying isn’t weakness. It’s emotional intelligence in action. It’s an instinctual form of self-care that acknowledges our feelings and helps us process them in a healthy way.

By embracing tears, we acknowledge our emotional experiences, giving them the space to exist rather than forcing them down. This is an essential skill for emotional coping. The more we allow ourselves to cry, the better equipped we become to understand and manage our emotions.

In fact, crying can be a form of boundary setting. It signals to ourselves and others that we’ve reached our emotional capacity and need to step back, take a breather, or shift focus. In a world that often demands more from us than we can give, tears help remind us that our emotions need to be honored and respected.

Crying as a Tool for Connection

Tears also help foster connection. Contrary to what some might believe, crying does not isolate us—it draws us closer to others. When we cry, we open ourselves to vulnerability, inviting empathy and support from those around us. In turn, sharing our tears can deepen our relationships and strengthen our bonds with loved ones.

As women, we often carry the weight of multiple roles—caregivers, nurturers, professionals, partners—and it’s easy to forget that we need care too. Tears remind us that it’s okay to lean on others, to seek solace in companionship, and to accept support when we need it most. You don’t have to be the “strong one” all the time. In fact, showing your vulnerability can empower both you and those around you.

Tears: A Natural Pain Reliever

While many of us associate tears with sadness or frustration, they can also provide a surprising physical benefit—pain relief. When we cry, our bodies release endorphins, which are natural painkillers. This can help alleviate both physical and emotional pain, offering a moment of comfort in times of distress. For instance, a study by Vingerhoets et al. (2007) found that crying can act as a natural analgesic, reducing the perception of pain. It’s as though your body is giving you an emotional “band-aid” to soothe what hurts—whether that’s a physical injury or a broken heart.

Breaking the Stigma: Reclaiming the Power of Tears

It’s time to shift the narrative. Instead of viewing tears as something to hide, let’s view them as an expression of our strength. Tears are an outlet for emotions we often don’t have words for. They allow us to express what’s deep inside—whether it’s grief, frustration, relief, or joy. When we embrace our tears, we release the pressure to “do it all” without feeling. We give ourselves permission to be human. The next time tears come, try not to rush to wipe them away or apologize for them. Let them flow. Allow yourself the emotional release. Trust that this moment of vulnerability is, in fact, a crucial part of your resilience.

Conclusion: The Power of Emotional Coping

Tears are not just a sign of weakness, nor are they merely a means to an end. They are a powerful tool for emotional healing. By embracing the benefits of crying, you give yourself permission to feel, to process, and to grow.

So, let your tears be a reminder that emotional health is not about avoiding pain or bottling up feelings. It’s about listening to your body, trusting your emotional instincts, and giving yourself the space to heal in whatever way feels right. In the grand scheme of life, tears might just be one of your greatest strengths.

References:

Bylsma, L. M., Taylor, S. F., & Rottenberg, J. (2008). Crying and its emotional benefits: A review of the literature. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 18(2), 118-122. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-8721.2009.01619.x

Hendriks, M. C. P., & Vingerhoets, A. J. J. M. (2006). Social messages of crying faces: Their influence on anticipated person perception, emotions, and behavioral responses. Cognition & Emotion, 20(5), 687-711. https://doi.org/10.1080/02699930500330192

Vingerhoets, A. J. J. M., & Scheirs, J. G. M. (2007). The (non) benefits of crying: A review of the literature. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 2(4), 371-374. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1745-6916.2007.00048.x

Vingerhoets, A. J. J. M., Bylsma, L. M., & de Vries, J. (2014). Is crying a self-soothing behavior? Psychological Science, 25(3), 602-607. https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797613514070

Vingerhoets, A. J. J. M., & van der Bilt, J. (2016). The social impact of emotional tears. Motivation and Emotion, 40(5), 635-643. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11031-016-9547-2